XBox 360 send me a Valentine's gift

HOW exciting! It's been YEARS since I got a Valentine's Day surprise from anyone other than the gf or the cat so you can imagine how excited I was when a red package turned up on my doorstep. My initial thought was that it was from the Chinese and was some sort of Chinese New Year Celebration present - "Mr Rivers, thank you for your continued patronage of our country's fine exported food emporiums and takeaways, here's some money." However I quickly realised this was not the case.

So far so, mysterious, opening the red box simply revealed another box. It was a riddle wrapped inside an enigma, wrapped inside cellophane.

And the behold! It was from XBox360. They loved me this much? I swooned in a way usually reserved for wet cousins in Jane Austen novels. I unwrapped the shiny plastic, teased off the ribbon and slid my fingers into the box.

I gasped! A completely red controller! How sweet! This was a pretty cool present to receive I must admit... and probably the best one I've had for V-DAY for a while!



But I was a bloke... How would a member of the opposite sex react if I gave them the same token gesture? I decided to try it on my friend Kyla and see...

I tried the card first, how often was it a major corporate entity wished you a Happy Valentine's Day? Surely that's what it was all about? I tried to counter the look of disdain by offering the box.

I have to say this did not go down much better. The look turned from disdain to "What the fuck is this?" "For two player Gears of War?" I countered, there must be nothing more romantic than that! Kyla shook her head in disgust. I had one final try to convince her. With a gentle fingering, I teased back the red satin inside the box...

"See? It comes with batteries, it MUST be a girl's best friend!"




John will probably be spending Valentine's Day alone in the pub following the events outlined above.